Anywhere But Here
by Ziley Rane
Summary: When Zane gets in an accident, Riley's world gets turned upside down.. and it's not necessarily a good thing. Songfic. Character Death. Riley/Zane. One-shot.


**Author's Note: **I've been wanting to do this for a while now.. and I'm actually glad I finally got this finished. ^_^ It's my first story on here, so try not to be too critical? I'm horrible at writing sad stories, but the song got stuck in my head and I just had to write it.

The song this story is based on, is _**Anywhere But Here - Mayday Parade**_.

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own any characters portrayed in this story, since they're property of the creators of Degrassi. I also do not own the song lyrics mentioned. I just own the plot.. and Zoe.

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Zane looked at Riley with disbelieving eyes, the music pounding through the house. The party was in full swing, but the two football players seemed to be ignoring everything except for each other. The tears in the Asian's eyes were rather obvious, a frustrated look on his face while Riley just looked angry. Taking a deep breath, Zane ran his fingers through his wild mane of hair and shook his head.

"I don't know why you can't just tell her! Everyone else knows already, but you won't even tell her the real reason you're with me all the time?" he asked, his voice breaking slightly. He hadn't particularly been able to understand why Riley was so scared to tell his mother that they were together, until that night.

Just before the two had left for the party, Zane had stopped by Riley's house to get him so they could go together, the Greek boy's mother thinking they were just going as friends. When he got there, Riley let him inside before going to tell his mother he was leaving.. but Zane hadn't been expecting the loud questions that floated into the foyer, things like 'why are you hanging out with the queer boy' and 'you should be going to the party with a girl, not a teammate'.

As usual, Riley had just laughed and made up a lie like he used to do at school. The Korean boy ignored it for the most part, though he couldn't ignore the hurt in his chest when Riley just brushed it off as not wanting Zane to get hurt so he had to go with him. It made Zane feel like a burden to the curly haired boy, not at all like his boyfriend.

He didn't say anything, though, until they reached the party, clearly out of hearing range of the woman Riley called his mother. When Zane confronted him about it, Riley made it sound like it was a huge deal to tell her because he was her only son and she wanted grandchildren. Of course, Zane could understand that, but with all the emotions running through his head, he didn't want to hear it at the moment, which is what lead them to the current situation.

"Until you can tell her that you like boys, I can't do this anymore," Zane said with a whisper, pulling his keys out of his pocket, since he hadn't been drinking that night and knew he could drive home. Riley's hand shot out to grab his boyfriend's wrist, a pleading look on his face.

"Don't go, Zane. I don't want to lose you," the older boy whispered, hoping Zane could see how torn he was over the situation. The Asian boy just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"I can't," he said simply before wrenching his arm from Riley's grasp and pushing through the crowd of dancing bodies, leaving the quarterback almost in tears on the dance floor.

**xXx**

About half an hour after Zane left, Riley gave up on hopes of him coming back, and went to get his jacket. He was walking home now, since Zane had left with the car, and he'd had too many drinks to bring his own. Just as he was about to walk out of the door, the music stopped and someone grabbed the microphone from the DJ. To say Riley was confused when Anya stepped up was an understatement.

"Guys, we were just informed that there's been a really, really bad car accident not far from here. There were two people involved, and as of yet, their hasn't been any confirmation on who was in the accident and whether or not they're okay, but don't panic, we'll let you guys know what happened as we get information," she said, causing a whisper to start amongst the crowd.

As soon as the girl walked off the little stage, Riley felt his stomach drop, the immediate thought of _Zane_ running through his head. Pushing through the crowd, he grabbed Anya's elbow as soon as he found the girl, almost on the verge of a panic attack.

"Riley, what's wrong?" she asked, noticing the worried look on her friend's face and the tears in his eyes.

"Zane left a little while ago, and I have the weird feeling it was him in the accident," he said, his voice hoarse as he did his best to keep himself from crying. Anya quickly wrapped her arms around the muscular teen, shaking her head slightly.

"Oh, Ri. I'm sure he's fine," she said, trying her best to calm her friend down.

"But we just got into a fight, and then he left and he was really upset. What if he wasn't paying attention and..," Riley said, starting to ramble off into a bunch of worse case scenarios. Anya smiled sadly and shook her head a little, keeping him close.

"Don't worry, Ri. I'm sure he's fine," she told him softly, though she wasn't sure herself.

Doing her best to calm Riley down, she was surprised when she felt a hand on her shoulder, and even more in shock when she saw that it was Peter, his face carved with sadness and worry, and his cheeks were red, like he had been crying.

"Guys, Holly J just found out who was in the accident," he told them, his voice uncharacteristically soft. Riley looked at his friend, his eyes pleading for him to say a name of someone other than who he thought it was. With the sad look on Peter's face, and the shake of his head, Riley felt like he'd shattered in a million pieces.

"I'm sorry, Ri. T-they said he was still alive when they got him out of the car, but he died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. He was asking for you the whole time," he whispered, pulling his friend into a hug as Anya kept her hold on him as well.

For the first time in a long time, Riley felt the tears streaming down his face. He never, ever would've been the one to break in front of people, but he couldn't help it. The boy he'd loved more than anything in the entire world was suddenly gone in a matter of seconds, and what made it worse was the fact that Riley hadn't even told him he loved him before he left.

"C'mon, Ri. Let's get you home," Anya whispered, patting her sobbing friend's back as Peter held him close, guiding him out the door as everyone in the party stopped everything they were doing, staying silent in respect of the boy who'd just lost his boyfriend.

**xXx**

After Anya and Peter had made sure Riley got home safe, they left him after telling his mother about what happened and why he was so upset, leaving out the part that Zane was Riley's boyfriend, instead, substituting it with the fact that they were just really close friends.

"Oh, baby, come here," Mrs. Stavros cooed to her son who hadn't stopped crying since he found out. Without thinking, Riley rushed into his mother's arms, letting himself be comforted by her for a few minutes, his sobs dying into soft hiccups, though the tears still ran down his cheeks.

"Why don't you go to bed, honey?" she asked softly as she pulled away from him, brushing a few stray curls from his face. Riley hiccuped and nodded, glancing towards Anya and Peter with a small smile.

"Th-thanks guys," he stuttered before turning towards the stairs and bounding up them to his room.

Once he got inside, he shut the door and leaned against it, sliding to the floor as he pulled his knees to his chest, his crying starting all over again. It still hadn't quite sunk in that Zane was actually gone, that he wouldn't see him ever again. Those eyes, that smile that just seemed to brighten the room, the soft touches and secret kisses shared between the two. Never again would he be able to hold the smaller boy against him as they cuddled watching movies. He knew it probably sounded crazy, but there was absolutely no way he could get through life without his Zane next to him.

Standing up quickly, he grabbed the nearest object from his desk and threw it across the room, watching as it shattered against the wall. It wasn't anything relatively expensive, so he wasn't worried that it was broken, he needed something to get his anger out, now that his sadness was gone. He wasn't angry at anything or anyone except for himself. If he had just told his mother he was gay, he and Zane never would've had the fight and the Asian boy never would've left the party.

Taking a deep breath, he walked over to his bed, sitting on it and opening the drawer to the nightstand, his breath hitching in his throat when he saw all the little things that he'd either gotten from Zane, or had as a memory of their relationship. The photo strip with the two of them, making funny faces in the first two panels, Zane kissing his cheek in the third, and the two of them looking into each others eyes in the fourth. He remembered how after the picture was taken, they'd quickly found themselves lost in a make out session.

Putting the pictures back in the drawer, he laughed softly when he pulled out the black belt with rainbow stars, the one Zane had been wearing when they'd first had sex at his house. His mother had been gone for the long weekend, and Zane came over on Friday to spend the night. After having dinner and watching movies, they ended up in his bed, having only planned on fooling around a little, but it ended up going much, much farther than either of them had expected.

Suddenly, an idea popped into his head. If he couldn't be with Zane in this life, he could always be with him in death, right? He heard fairytales of how two people who were in love could be reunited after both had died. Even if suicide was a sin, he'd be forgiven and allowed to be with his love once more, wouldn't he? At the moment, Riley found himself not caring too much. Living without Zane would be too hard for him to do, this was the only option for him, no matter how many people would love to argue with him. He knew he had a future at Eastern, but he couldn't go without Zane being there to support him as the first openly gay football player.

Tightening his grip on the belt in his hand, he took a deep breath and nodded to himself, a small, almost sadistic smile playing on his lips. His decision was made, whether anyone else liked it or not. He'd be with Zane soon.

Grabbing a piece of paper and a pen from the drawer, he wrote a quick note to his mother, telling her he was sorry and he loved her. Shaking his head, he scratched it out, knowing that it would only make things worse if she found that.

'_Secret love, my escape, take me far, far away. Secret love, are you there? Will you answer my prayer? Please take me anywhere buy here._

_I loved him so much. We were both in love, and it's my fault he's gone. I can't live without him, I didn't even get to say goodbye. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, and I'm sorry this had to happen. Don't hate me, Ma. _

_Love, Riley._'

With a sigh, he left the note on his bed, taking the belt and wrapping it around his neck. He had never had thoughts of suicide before, nor had he ever really researched how to go about killing oneself, but he thought the concept was pretty simple. Taking one last deep breath, he tightened the fabric around his neck, keeping himself calm with thoughts of seeing Zane once again until his breathing started to slow, along with the beat of his heart.

**xXx**

Mrs. Stavros sighed as she sat at the kitchen table, her cup of coffee sitting in her hands, untouched. Her son had just lost one of his close friends, and she didn't know what to do. She didn't know the other boy that well, and she'd been bad mouthing him earlier that night. While she thought he hadn't heard her, there was always the chance he had, and the guilt was settling in that she'd made such a bad impression.

The house was eerily quiet, though she knew it was only because her son was mourning the loss of Zane. Pushing away from the table, the screeching of the chair legs on the floor echoed loudly through the house. Walking up the stairs, she frowned a little when she heard absolutely no sounds coming from Riley's room

Not thinking to knock, she opened the door and almost fainted at what she saw. Her son, laying on his bed, his skin turning blue with a belt tight around his neck. Rushing over, she quickly un-did the belt, pulling her son to her in hopes that he'd wake up and say he was just playing a cruel joke on her of some sort for making his friend feel bad earlier.

His skin was so cold against her own, tears pouring down her cheeks as she kept him close to her chest, rocking him back and forth. Seeing a piece of paper next to him, she picked it up and began crying even harder as she read it.

Her baby boy had killed himself to be with the person he loved.

**xXx**

Death wasn't has bad as Riley had thought it was. It wasn't painful after a few minutes, in fact, it was rather peaceful. The light people spoke about in movies was there, but he knew it was only there for him because he could see Zane smiling brightly at him as he walked towards it.

"I'm sorry I left," the Asian boy whispered as soon as the Greek boy reached him, his arms flying around Riley's muscular shoulders as the quarterback lifted him up and spun him around. New tears were now falling down Riley's cheeks, though they were tears of pure joy seeing Zane again.

"I'm sorry I made you leave. I'm sorry you got hit by that car. I'm sorry for not telling my mother about us," Riley whispered into Zane's hair as he kept the boy close. Even if he hadn't been a particularly religious person, he knew that Heaven existed, he was there when he was with Zane.

"Come on, Ri, we have to go see something," Zane whispered, pulling away from his boyfriend as their hands slipped into each other's, their fingers intertwining. Riley nodded his head and started following his boyfriend, confused as to where they were headed until they actually got there.

Somehow, the two boys ended up outside, standing far behind a large crowd of people, all of them surrounding something and dressed in black. Some were crying into the shoulders of others, while most were standing silently, doing their best to be strong for the people around them. Riley glanced at Zane, confused, as the Asian boy smiled softly and gestured towards the group.

"Come on, they can't see us," he whispered, pulling Riley closer to the people. Nodding his head once more, Riley followed Zane, shocked at what he saw as they broke through the crowd.

There in front of him was a casket that was seemingly built for two people, and while it was closed, he had a feeling he knew who was inside, especially by the people standing around. Anya, Peter, his mother, Zane's little sister Zoe, Holly J, Sav, even Drew Torres and Owen Milligan were standing there silently to pay their respects to both boys.

"How long have we been dead?" Riley asked his boyfriend softly as he turned to him, a curious look on his face.

"A few days, Ri. It just took you a while to find me," Zane replied, squeezing Riley's hand gently as he leaned against him softly. "Everyone misses you, so much," he added quietly, pointing out that most people at the funeral were friends of Riley, and only a few people were mutual friends between both of them.

"But they all loved you more than anything," Riley told the Asian boy with a soft kiss to his cheek.

Turning his attention to the elaborate headstone, he couldn't help but smile when he saw his and Zane's names carved next to each other, different birthdays, but the same dates of death. Beneath their names, in beautiful cursive writing, was the words Riley had wrote in his note to his mother. It was at that moment that he knew everything was going to be okay. He had Zane back in his arms, and they would forever rest together in peace.

_Secret love, my escape, take me far, far away. Secret love, are you there? Will you answer my prayer?_

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So, what did you guys think? How did I do for my first story? It's kind of sad, I know.. but like I said before, I couldn't help it. Want to review and let me know how I did? ^_^_  
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